


Five Times Greed Tried to Seduce Envy

by sherwoodfox



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Emotional Manipulation, Generally Evil Characters, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Incest, Other, mature language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-16
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-24 04:30:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14947625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherwoodfox/pseuds/sherwoodfox
Summary: Now, Greed had wanted plenty of stupid, gross shit before, but he had never wanted Envy. And it was driving him insane.





	Five Times Greed Tried to Seduce Envy

**Author's Note:**

> This story can be read alongside my other piece 'Identity (I, Envy)' but you don't need to in order to understand what's going on. Enjoy.

1.

Greed was worried that he might be crazy.

Actually, entirely crazy. Bonkers. He had done too many drugs the last time he had gone out and they had poisoned his brain. He had fallen asleep somewhere and was having a bad dream. Something in his core had cracked and his Stone was going haywire and it was making him crazy- _something_ must be making him crazy, because there was no other valid explanation for feeling like _this._

Greed was no stranger to sexual desire. By his nature, how could he be? Greed wanted things, and money, and experiences, and people, and so of course by extension he wanted _sex,_ though not in the same way (or for the same reasons) that Lust did. He liked sex for the concept of ‘having’ someone, of possessing a piece of a person, of connecting the lines between the physical act and ownership. That was the nature of Greed. Anything and everything of value, anything that could ever be considered of worth, Greed wanted. And god damn, if that wasn't almost everything- humans, by their nature, stuck a price tag on anything they could, and where there wasn't good money they attached their heartstrings- to nothing, to trash, and to even trashier people. So of course Greed, an embodiment of human desires, had wanted plenty of stupid, gross shit before.

But he had never wanted _Envy._

Nope. And even thinking like that made him worried about his sanity.

And yet, ever since the creation of Sloth it had been different. It had... _settled_ on something, become somehow more confident, and now he couldn't take his eyes off it. There it went, wandering around with some weird skort thing up to its ass, and a teensy weensy little crop top, all smooth skin and muscles and bright eyes. What did it think it was doing? Before, Greed had never even _considered_ Envy. It was the only one of the cardinal sins with no positive alternative at all- Pride could perhaps be Confidence, Greed could be Ambition, and Lust could be Love. What was the other side of Envy? It didn't have one. It was the least desirable human trait, made entirely out of resentment and hatred and cruelty. No one wanted anything to do with that. Even with that shapeshifting ability it was garbage. It had only ever been able to take the forms of others before- steal them, like a goblin from a nursery rhyme- and create cheap copies, imitations. No matter how beautiful the shape it took, it had never been able to hide was it was underneath.

Disturbingly, it didn't seem to be trying so hard to _hide_ anymore. Somehow, it had managed to make its inherent disgustingness _appealing_. Desirable. And now Greed wanted it, which was possibly the worst thing that had happened to him ever. 

He watched it now from the shadows like some human creep, eyes covering its body as it made its way through the Underground. He watched how it rocked on its heels, how the muscles in its calves shifted as it changed its balance, his eyes drawn to the serpent tattoo on its thigh. That was a nice touch, it was placed in a very _suggestive_ spot, wasn't it? His gaze traveled up, past its hips and the strong curve of its back, settling in its dark hair where a faint green tint shone in the light. He wanted to bury his hands in that hair, see what it felt like. He wanted to run his palms over those thighs. He wanted to find out what Envy had put under those little shorts, if it had put anything there at all, which if Greed knew anything as an older brother, it probably hadn't. That didn't stop him from imagining, though.

Surely, he had some kind of brain fever.

But even if he did, that wasn't going to stop him, now was it? No. Greed, in the end, never had any self-control. And besides, he was sure he would survive- once he had satisfied this particular desire, he wouldn't be troubled by it anymore, and that would be that. Envy wouldn't be difficult to seduce. Of all the homunculi, it would surely be the easiest, and Greed knew exactly how to go about it.

“Yo, weirdo,” he called, sauntering confidently out from behind his hiding spot, sure to put his hands in his pockets and give off the impression of utmost nonchalance. “Funny to see you around here still. Father not putting you to work like the rest of us? Getting some more time off? You wouldn't believe what he’s been making _me_ do.” 

He said this all with a sharp-toothed smirk. If there was anything Greed knew about Envy, it was that it always wanted to be doing what everyone else was doing. He could come up with some fake mission to pretend he had been sent on, and it would fall all over him like a pile of goo trying to figure out why it hadn't been given the same thing, and while it was going through one of its rapid-fire emotional meltdowns he would shimmy it into the bedroom for a bit. Easy as pie.

Envy gave him a look like a razor blade and flicked its hair, continuing on its walk without a pause. 

“Have fun with that,” it tossed idly over its shoulder, its voice high and hot and incredibly disinterested.

Greed was left standing there in the tunnel, his jaw dropped in shock, watching its back retreat into the darkness.

What was _that?_

That evening, Greed went to Lust’s rooms.

Technically speaking, none of the homunculi had official places of their own in the Underground, but it was easy to tell where each preferred to dwell. Greed had a few tunnels filled with things he had picked up- piles of jewelry, clothes, knick knacks, anything and everything he could get his hands on- and Envy tended to hide as far down as possible, in damp and tiny places where it thought no one could hear it talking to itself, or crying. At least, that was where Envy had been staying, not that Greed had gone looking for it there or anything, because he wasn't crazy enough to do that.

Lust, though- Lust’s rooms were lovely.

She had them furnished, and had connected water to a bath. She had closets and carpets and vanities, just like any rich human woman. The place was always soft and warm and sweet-smelling with the many feminine products she purchased- money she seduced from the pockets of human men above ground (and sometimes human women, too). That was what Greed had come to talk to her about- seduction. He gave her door one brusque knock, and it was opened promptly by the lady herself, dressed in a pink silk nightgown. She looked at him in surprise, and then smiled, as beautiful as always.

“Oh, hello Greed. Would you like to come in? I've just made some tea.” Her words were silky and welcoming, which was almost unusual, as she was rarely so openly hospitable around Greed. He wondered only briefly why she would be putting on the charm- he had already been with her, a long long time ago, and so having had her she knew he wouldn’t come for sex again- but easily pushed the feeling to the back of his mind. It didn't matter, he was here on a mission.

“So, what are you here for?” she said as he sat in one of her comfiest chairs, preparing two cups of tea with her slender, graceful hands. Greed remembered now why he didn't often come to Lust’s rooms, lovely though they were- he always felt dirty and brutish here, out of place amidst all the delicacy and refined taste. He would put up with it, though.

“I want some tips,” he replied, offering her his killing shark grin. “Some tips on how best to seduce someone.”

Lust’s charming smile morphed into more of a smirk (there she was, his older sister) and she sat opposite him on a stool, folding her hands in her lap.

“Well,” she said, her cool voice containing a hint of amusement, “the best methods of seduction depend on who you’re trying to seduce. Perhaps you could tell me?”

Greed almost bit his tongue. There was no way, no way in _hell_ he was going to let anyone know he wanted to fuck Envy, even he had more pride in his reputation than that.

“No one you’d know,” he told her smoothly, feeling the lie come through with perfect accuracy (he was a very good actor, if he did say so himself). “Shall I describe her instead? Her looks or her personality?” 

Lust looked at him intently, her heavy lidded eyes seeming to sink deep into him, even though he knew for certain there was no way that she could tell what he was really thinking. She hummed, putting one hand under her chin.

“More like...what does she think of you? That will really determine how best to seduce ‘her’.” Was he imagining things, or had there been something a little funny about how Lust had said that? He must be getting paranoid, it was the crazy part of his brain again, the crazy part that was making him do this in the first place. There was no way she could know.

“Well…” said Greed, trying to think of how best to answer the question. “I think she quite likes me, you know, looks up to me and shit. But lately she’s seemed a little...cold.” 

Lust smiled again, looking down at her lap and then back up, her eyelids fluttering slightly. “I see.”

There was a soft silence for a moment, both homunculi looking at the steam coming from the tea, one in thought and the other for a lack of anything else to do with his eyes. Lust broke the atmosphere by shifting, and speaking up again.

“Sometimes the best way to get someone to want you is to pretend that you don't want them. Everyone wants the most what they can't get, wouldn't you say, Greed?”

Greed bobbed his head, pondering her words. It made sense, what she said, though he wasn't entirely sure if that was the best method in this situation. But if he were to explain that to her, she would certainly ask more questions, and he might not be able to answer them. Besides, he might as well try it out.

“Alright, thanks,” he said, standing and putting his hands in his pockets. “I'll be sure to give that a shot.”

“Let me know how it goes,” said Lust as he closed her door behind him, sealing off the warmth and the sweet smells with the finality of a coffin.

2.

Greed was perfectly ready to start ignoring Envy, as per Lust’s suggestion. The only problem was that it was so hard to _find_. You couldn't effectively show that you were ignoring someone unless they knew they were being ignored. And the only way to do that was to be around them, and _then_ act like they were unimportant. Envy wasn't helping with this part of the plan at all.

Greed had decided that the best way to display his lack of interest in the other homunculus was to walk around the Underground looking important, and then refuse to answer any questions that Envy was sure to ask. Unfortunately, the other entity in question seemed too preoccupied to take interest- every time he ran into it, it was heading somewhere, too busy or too distracted to take note of Greed’s put-on sense of importance and become appropriately mad with jealousy, as it had used to. The act of seduction that he had thought would be so simple was becoming surprisingly difficult.

One evening, Greed got lucky. Coming through a cross-section room from above ground (he had definitely not been drinking out his problems), he ran into Envy and Sloth, who seemed to be engaged in some attempt at conversation (on Envy’s side, at least). The room in the Underground was large, and it was difficult to hear their words, but it was clearly very interested, rolling on the balls of its feet and playing with its hair. Greed couldn't help but stare a little at its thighs and spine, wishing that it wasn't wearing the skirt part of the thingy around its waist so he could better see its ass. Greed always wanted _more_. Not that it mattered- here, he had a perfect chance, and he would be able to see as much of that ass as desired very soon.

Greed strolled across the room, his nose in the air, watching the other homunculi out of the corners of his eyes, being careful not to look at all curious about what they were doing. Envy cocked its head at the sound of Greed’s footsteps (it often looked like some kind of reptile, which was usually very creepy, but somehow right now it was _hot_ ) but didn't turn to look. Greed frowned to himself. There was no way that Sloth was more interesting than he was, the big lug barely moved. He doubted the dullard had said all of two words in whatever period of time Envy had been talking with him. But now he had a problem- if he kept walking, he would ultimately have to leave the room, and based on its behaviour in the last week he doubted it would follow him. Spotting a fallen pillar off to the side he was struck by a flash of genius and changed his direction slightly, sitting down on the cold marble with a deep and weary sigh to put his head in his hands. The image of overworked exhaustion and manly intrigue. Any human would no doubt come up to him in an instant, ready to have their pants charmed off by his rugged appeal.

For a second, it seemed as though this more exaggerated ploy had worked- Envy glanced over, peering through thick strands of that strange, wiry hair (a surprisingly adorable pose), but it looked away again almost immediately, its expression blank. In that instant it had seemed almost...bored with him. Envy never did that. What was going _on?_

In case it was a fluke Greed stayed on his pillar for a little longer, looking mournfully into the distance and subtly shuffling his feet to make noise. Trying to draw attention to himself without seeming like was drawing attention to himself (or something, whatever Lust had said to do, it was more confusing than he had thought).

After a few more minutes of this, Envy stopped talking to Sloth and turned, raising the hopes in Greed’s chest to an almost ridiculous degree. Now, that was more like it, he was finally going to get some-

It turned into a bird and flew away.

Sloth and Greed both sat there like absolute chumps, bodies in matching poses on their seating places. Looking across the room (which suddenly seemed so much emptier), Greed felt an incredible spike of _want_ in his heart, a deep and painful yank in his core that only happened when things got _really_ bad. Dammit, he should never feel that way over _Envy._ Good grief. It was making him really insane, now.

He left Sloth alone in a fit, his boots scraping against the stone floor with every step.

3.

Now, Greed thought he was a pretty good looking man.

Tall, muscular, with a daredevil expression and a cool hairstyle. Exactly the kind of thing that so many human women swooned over, a bad boy with an excellent physique. He knew he was very attractive, _irresistible_ even. It just seemed that Envy hadn't noticed yet. Perhaps its eyesight wasn't too good. That didn't matter- if it couldn't see how hot he was, he would damn well show it.

This attitude was what had led Greed to the position he was in now, standing in one of the central rooms of the Underground with a basin of hot water and a sponge. From the waist up, he was covered in very deliberately aesthetic dirt (he would not go into describing the act of getting it on there, the experience had been awkward and humiliating), that clearly needed washing off. In order to get clean after sullying himself on an important mission (he refused to believe that the ‘important mission’ thing would not work), he would have to take off his shirt and wash himself in the hot water, making his body all wet and shiny and showing off his killer shape. He would make quite the show, he knew, and the sexy sight was sure to get anyone’s panties wet. If Envy wore panties. Probably not.

He had the perfect excuse for it, too- Pride had called a mandatory-all-homunculi-meeting in this room, so Envy had to show up, and there was no way that anything Pride had to say would be more interesting than his little performance. 

As the other homunculi trickled in (Lust first, guiding Sloth, who had no doubt gotten lost), Greed took off his sullied shirt, making a point of tightening his abs as he did so. As he pulled the top over his head he heard the fluttering of wings, and then the crackle of a transmutation- there it was. Hook, line, and sinker. He tossed the shirt to the side and stretched, admiring the feeling of multiple pairs of eyes on his body. There was no way this wouldn't work.

“What are you _doing_ , Greed?” said Pride, who had materialized in the centre of the room, long black shadows extending into a tunnel off to the left (little bitch was too good to show up in person to his own meeting, as always), and Greed smirked at him in reply.

“What does it look like?” He said, putting a swagger into his voice and stance. “I'm taking a bath. I've got things to do, man, I can't put everything on hold for one of your little _gatherings._ ”

Greed enjoyed the way Pride bristled, and from the corner of his eye he assessed the reactions of the other homunculi- Lust was smiling, Sloth was staring at nothing, and Envy- goddammit, Envy wasn't even _looking!_ It was picking at its nails, leaning against the wall and looking bored. What _was_ this? Envy always liked out-snarking the oldest sibling. It usually laughed at Greed’s quips, or chimed in, or _something_. He was clearly going to have to try harder.

As Pride started getting into his little spiel Greed flexed his muscles and let out an exaggerated groan, drawing as much attention to the spectacle as he possibly could. He slopped the water in the basin, and sighed as he ran the sponge over his chest, making each new pose and stance as good as possible for showing off his body. He was sure he looked incredibly fuckable right now, and from the expression on Lust’s face it seemed that she agreed, but somehow Envy didn't seem to care at all. It was making him absolutely insane. He wanted to go right up to it and pin it to the wall, kiss it senseless, and drag it to bed somewhere. That would be so hot, doing that right in front of prudish Pride, making a show of touching and squeezing it in all those places that were making him mad. This fantasy was entirely useless though, not only because he was being ignored but because the idea pretended that Greed was strong enough to even _budge_ Envy, the monster that weighed as much as a two-story house. God, was this annoying.

When the meeting ended, the water in the basin was cold, and so was Greed. He felt damp, a little gross, and incredibly discouraged. The other homunculi had all left, and he had received nothing but a knowing grin from Lust. 

For the rest of the night all he could think of was how Envy’s hair had flipped when it had turned away from him. He was _obsessed._

4.

Jealousy.

That had to be the key.

Greed had not been playing his cards to the best of their ability. He hadn't been bringing out the big guns. Playing in the kiddy field. He was a man, goddammit, and it was time for him to step up his game.

It had been easy to go to a pub above ground and pick up a pair of chicks there, both of them long-legged and busty beauties, already half-mad from drink. Cute girls, but not very bright, and so very easy to seduce. It had been good for his bruised ego, to get fawned over for a while, and he had taken some liquor too; Greed was very happy as he took the two women down into the Underground, one tucked under each arm, both giggling at every word he had to say. Here was rock-solid proof that he was a catch, and if nothing else, surely this would bring out Envy’s inner nature. It couldn't deny what it really was, what it really wanted, just as Greed couldn't deny himself. It would see him with these two women and it would come to him begging (or snarling, both would be adorable) and it would be his at last. 

He would have to kill the women, of course, no humans were allowed to see the Underground and live to tell the tale. That didn't matter, though- in fact, in Greed’s bubbly state of mind, he thought it might even be good for his cause. Envy, after all, was a sadistic, murderous _bitch_ \- maybe it would enjoy killing them. Maybe that would get it going. After he had tricked it into the bedroom, maybe he could offer them up to it as a present. Greed wasn't really into that sort of thing personally, but for a prize as elusive as the younger homunculus he was willing to shake things up.

“It's so _cold_ in here,” squealed one of the girls as the trio made their way down through the tunnels, clutching at his arm and pressing her breasts against his body. Greed laughed boisterously and gave her a squeeze- he should try and make as much noise as possible to attract attention. “I know, baby doll. Shall we warm it up a little?” He said, and both girls laughed ridiculously in reply. Their voices bounced around the tunnel walls and carried into the deep recesses of the earth, the vibrations in the air reaching darker and deeper places than either woman had seen before. They didn't notice. They didn't know they were headed to their deaths. The thought kind of made Greed uncomfortable, underneath the warmth of his conscious mind- this kind of thing was what Envy did, not he.

And, to speak (or think) of the devil, it wasn't long before Greed felt inhuman eyes on him. Burning eyes. He knew who was watching- neither Lust nor Sloth could hide in the shadows like that, he would be able to see them, and Pride’s gaze had a very different feel. As he had hoped, it had come.

One of the girls stumbled over her own shoes and Greed pulled her close to him, squeezing the human curves of her body and kissing her sloppily on the mouth. The other one swatted feebly at him, pretending to be annoyed at the lack of attention, and he could practically feel the heat of bloodlust turning up in the air. He pulled away from the girl, his mouth now smeared pink from the colour on her lips, and it spoke.

“What the fuck are you doing, Greed?” Envy growled, its voice deep and rumbling and inhuman, its words punctuated by what sounded like the click of sharp teeth. Both of the human women screamed at the noise and clung to him, not understanding, still believing he was a person just like them. 

“You know you can't let them go,” it snarled, emerging from the shadows, and Greed only barely managed to withhold a little scream of his own. It had taken the form of a huge black wolf, taller than a man, covered in hard muscle and bulging scars, its eyes glowing red in the dark and its fangs wet and bared. Like something from a nightmare. Greed forced himself to laugh, trying to maintain the appearance of his effortless swagger, holding tight to the girls so they couldn't run away.

“What's this then, freak?” he asked it, his voice sounding small and dim in the empty air. “I thought you were a lizard, not a puppy. Who are you trying to kid with thi-"

With a strength he hadn't been expecting, one of the two women wrenched free of his grasp, fleeing back into the tunnel with a scream at her lips. She barely made it five strides before Envy was on her, rushing past him in a wave of matted fur and foul breath, the girl’s screams turning from fear to horrible, dying pain as it ripped her to pieces. There was a particularly wet sounding tear, and she went silent, the only sounds now the dull squelching and Envy’s monstrous breathing. Greed wasn't sure what he felt in that moment- his emotions were too strong, the adrenaline in his veins intoxicating. It was easy sometimes to mistake horror and arousal. Numbly, he let the other woman go, watching with wide eyes as the beast turned on her. She didn't scream- it seemed that the sight of her friend’s death had been too much for her mind, and she was completely limp as her spine was crushed under a tremendous lupine jaw, blood spurting from her throat and onto the tunnel floor. The atmosphere in the enclosed space was hot and surreal, hyper clear, every sensation on fire and fighting for dominance of Greed’s awareness. He wanted to throw up, or maybe run away screaming, or maybe take Envy and fuck it into the floor.

When the act was done the monster turned to look at him, its muzzle smeared with gore and its eyes gleaming wickedly in the half-light. Greed reached out to touch its face, unable to stop himself from wanting to feel it, and as he did so it started to change. Course black fur became soft pale skin, legs and arms withdrawing into their sockets, paws becoming hands and fangs retracting (but only slightly). Greed grabbed it as the transformation became complete, pulling it close to him. Now, in its preferred form, it was shorter than he, and his hands fit comfortably about its hips. Violet eyes matched his, breathing in each other's air (he could smell the blood in its mouth), lips close enough to kiss. It wasn't beautiful, this thing, it wasn't lovely or charming or sweet, it was horrible. Horrible, and disgusting, and wantonly _evil_. Greed wondered if he had ever felt more alive. 

He cupped the side of its face with one hand, using the other to pull their bodies flush, admiring how well their shapes matched as he leaned in to kiss it. Their lips had just barely brushed- his warm ones against its cold, reptilian skin- when it pushed him away, shoving him to the side with ease. He hit the ground hard (it was always stronger, and heavier, than it seemed it should be) and when he managed to looked up it was gone, the flash of a red fox’s tail disappearing into the darkness. It had left him again. 

For a few moments Greed was unable to get up, his body shaking like a leaf from pain and exhilaration. Now that had been a high. But as with all highs, you had to come down and face the facts- in this case, being alone in a tunnel with a horrible mess to clean up and a hard-on that wasn't going anywhere for a while. 

And it had left him again. It was so frustrating, teasing him like this. The desire for it was burning him up from the inside out, and yet every time he got close it darted out of reach. He groaned deeply, the sound reverberating through the tunnel. What was he going to _do?_

5.

At this point, Greed had given up on his sanity. There was clearly no saving it.

He thought this as he crept down into the deepest reaches of the Underground, keeping his feet light and his eyes watchful. For the first time since this plan had begun, he didn't want to be found. What he was doing was very very stupid, and probably completely hopeless, but he couldn't stop himself. He wanted to do it, and that was all there was to it.

When the tunnels were so dark that Greed couldn't see, and the floors so wet they squelched with subterranean life, and the air was so thick with rotten spores and must that he could barely breath, he decided that he had gone far enough. No one came down to these abandoned, silent places but Envy. He himself had never been here before- and he knew it would realize he had come. How embarrassing- but he couldn't bring himself to care. He was just too far gone.

With stable hands Greed put down the small, wrapped box he had been carrying on the floor, trying to judge by feel a dry place where he could leave it safely. In better light one could have seen that it was a present, wrapped in fine paper and tied with a black silk bow. A gift for a lover. Though Greed had felt very silly on the way down, seeing the state of Envy’s preferred dwellings had stirred something in him. It had spent months down here, all alone, before the birth of Sloth. How could anyone (or anything) bear it? He had known what Envy was, but he had never fully realized it before- that sometimes, when it wasn't destroying everything else, perhaps it wanted to destroy itself. 

That was a sad thought.

He left the present in the darkness, and as he made his way back to the surface his morbid thoughts dissipated, drifting away like dew under the morning sun. With fresh air in his lungs and warmth on his skin, the softness vanished and was replaced again by raging humiliation that burned under his skin like a fire. This was what he had come to- leaving trinkets for a demon (even more of a demon than he) in Hell, hoping to summon it between his sheets? Pathetic. 

But no matter how much he beat himself up over it on the surface, the want was still there, and it wasn't going away. The juxtaposition of his emotions was exhilarating- he could easily see himself becoming addicted to it. Addicted to Envy. And who was to say he was wrong? Their natures were symbiotic, as easily intertwined as their bodies had been that night in the tunnels. One, to want everything, and the other to want everything everyone else already had.

A lovesick fool, Greed?

Perhaps.

...

“You’re really amazing, Lust- I didn't think it would work so well!”

Envy curled into itself on Lust’s plush bed, twirling round and round a silver bracelet, inlaid with green stones, between its pale fingers. It licked its lips like it tasted something there and rolled onto its back, slipping the jewelry onto its wrist to admire.

“He even bought me a _present,_ ” it said, its voice high and cruel, satisfaction settling in overtop of its broken emotional landscape. Lust smiled to herself- it was nice to spoil Envy sometimes, to let it lounge around in her rooms and play, nice to indulge it when it came by. It was, after all, the closest thing Lust- a woman who’s life was, by _her_ nature, filled to the brim with men- had to a little sister. She sipped her tea slowly, settling back into her own chair and putting her delicately manicured feet up on a stool.

“I told him the same thing, you know. When he came asking after you.” she said. “ _The best way to get someone to want you is to pretend that you don't want them._ It is often true.”

Envy scoffed. “He could never pull it off, though,” it replied, giddy, and then it laughed, the usually harsh, insane sound softened to something pleasant as it bounced through the steamy air. “He's so _obvious_. I’m the master manipulator in this family. And you too of course, Lust.”

She put her tea down and beckoned to it, her eyes as warm as they ever got. Envy easily slid off the bed and sat down with its back to her chair, head in her lap, its eyes still fixated on the bracelet that sparkled around its wrist. Lust started to gather its hair between her fingers, trying to sort out the heavy locks, internally cringing at the rough texture and unmanageable shape. She would have liked to brush it, perhaps, but that was likely impossible. She settled for running her fingers through it instead, pulling each individual strand out to its full length before releasing it again. If Envy minded the attention, it didn't say so, and that was nice in and of itself. Not nice enough for Lust not to tease, however.

“So are you ever going to reward him?” she murmured, her silky voice painted with her amusement. “For all his hard work. That strip show was quite something after all.”

At the mention of Greed’s ‘bathing’ performance Envy giggled, its whole body moving with mirth, but rather quickly it settled down again, becoming quiet in her arms.

“I don't know,” it said softly, rubbing the stones on the bracelet with its thumb. “I think I'll keep him on his toes a little while longer. I don't want it to end just yet.”

Lust hummed in response, the atmosphere more somber. It was true- once Greed had something, he wouldn't need to _get_ it anymore. The same was true for Envy- once it had something of someone else’s, that desired prize no longer belonged to the other person, and so was of no value to a thing that could never love that which was its own. Neither one of them had been made for love. Neither had she. But now was not a time to be thinking of sad or difficult things.

“So you must tell me,” she piped up, her voice cheerful. “What exactly were you two doing in the tunnels last week- I heard _screaming-!”_

Envy gasped and bit its lip, and the mood was lightened, and both homunculi settled down for an intense session of gossiping. After all, these were what moments in life from which one could wring either sadness or joy, and the latter option was always more fun.

“Well, you _see_ …” Envy began, and Lust perked up her ears, and the night went on.


End file.
